Others' Thoughts About "Friendship & Friends" 002 : A Balance of Emotional & Rational

Others' Thoughts About "Friendship & Friends" 002 : A Balance of Emotional & Rational

"A good relationship between 2 friends must have a balance between being emotional and being rational. Being too rational might take away the beauty of the relationship that can often be brought about only through a meeting of the heart and soul and the spontaneous embrace of the others' needs regardless of how irrational it might be at the moment it is needed. On the other hand, being too emotional about a relationship might actually kill it because it makes everything seemed too personal and sensitive ... Once too much emotion comes in, both the friends or one of em will feel an increasing emotional and even psychological load and eventually just shut his / her heart completely and walk away from the weariness and threat. Animal instinct for survival will take over and then it's all over." - Yao Huimin

Well said indeed, Huimin, well said ... again!!!


Haha, when it comes to something as precious (and yet delicate) as "frienship", often it is quite a struggle and predicament whether to listen to our head or our heart. Nobody could really be sure because each friendship is different .... just like each and every friend (is unique and special in his / her own ways) ...

regards
matakecil

ps. *Sigh* If only Huimin has shared this wisdom of hers with me much earlier, I would not have lost a very dear friend recently. That beautiful friendship was ruined because too much emotion has crept in and too fast ... and soon everyone saw the need to "abandon ship" ...

Others' Thoughts About "Friendship & Friends" 001 : A True Friend Will Not Hesitate To Hurt You

Others' Thoughts About "Friendship & Friends" 001 : A True Friend Will Not Hesitate To Hurt You

"A true friend will not hesitate to hurt you on the skin, if he / she knows that by doing so, can help strengthen your flesh, bone and heart. But on the other hand, a true friend will not intentionally hurt and weaken your heart, bone or flesh ... just in order to make you feel good superficially on the skin." - Yao Huimin

Well said indeed, Huimin, but it needs some pondering to understand and feel for the truth behind it :)

cheers
matakecil

My Thoughts About "Friendship" 002 : Like A Bird In The Palm

"Friendship" is like a bird in the palm.

Grip too tight, afraid it would suffocate and die. Loosen the grip, afraid it would just fly away and never come back.

Yep, what a predicament indeed.

How much care and concern is enough?
How much to care for your friend that they do not feel you have neglected them?
How much to care for your friend that it is just nice and does not suffocate them?

How much breathing space is enough and not too much?
How much "time to be alone" should we give our friend so that they can have their own breathing space?
How much "time to be alone" should we give our friend but at the same time they don't feel we have neglected them?

How much is enough? How much is justnice?


Well, eventhough I don't have the exact or complete answer, as usual, I just do my best. I will love and take care of the bird as best as I could but then I would let it be free. It can choose to fly around and then come back ... or it can choose to fly off and never come back. I just do my best to treat the bird kindly and the bird has the freedom to choose whether what I have done is good enough or not. As someone once said, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it does not ... it was never meant to be right from the beginning."

My Thoughts About "Friendship" 001 : Like Planting A Tree

"Friendship" is like 2 people planting a tree.

After you have identified the suitable place to plant it, you begin by preparing and loosening the soil / earth before the planting of the seed. Then after the seed has been planted, you have to take care of it. Regularly water it. Regularly fertilise it. Constantly ensure that there is sufficient sun and wind. Constantly protect it against insects and animals (or other human beings). Constantly watch out for and prevent weeds from growing. All these must be done without fail or neglect.

Yes. The planting of the seed is the beginning. Much efforts must go into the care and nurture of the plant. You must put your heart into it.

You have to take care of the plant so that the tree could grow tall and strong. You have to make sure that the tree does not "fall sick". You have to regularly trim away old leaves so that new ones could grow. You have to take good care of the tree and protect it so that it could eventually flower and bear fruits.

BOTH must do it together. BOTH people who wanted and chosed to plant the tree in the first place. NOT either one but BOTH! Friendship is like a tree that must be cared for by 2 people.

What happen when ONE person neglects it. What happen if one of em is too busy to take care of the tree? Well, there ain't no tree no more!

Of course we can say that we want to let it "grow naturally". But letting it grow naturally does not mean neglecting it

Yep. The plant has a life. It is a living thing. It cannot be neglected. It needs care and love. It needs attention and protection. It cannot wait for one to be free. It cannot wait for one to be ready or in the right mood. It needs to be nourished to grow. Or it will weaken, wither and die.

Sometimes we are really too busy ... too busy to care for our tree. And one day when we are finally "free" ... and we decide to come and have a look at our tree, it is not there anymore. Oh yes, we can always plant a new tree with a new person. We could. But will it be the same? And will you let it wither and die again?

Welcome to ILuvFriends - Friends Enrich My Life

Welcome to ILuvFriends - Friends Enrich My Life :)

Yep, friends sure enrich my life and they mean a lot to me. Regardless of whether they are my

• Friends ("peng you", "pang yow", "kawan", "sahabat", etc.)
  
• Pals
• Buddies (chat buddies, hug buddies, f*uck buddies, cry buddies, starbuck buddies, etc.)
  
• Soulmates
• Activity Partners (drinking kakis, golf kakis, mahjong kakis, jogging kakis, gym kakis, football kakis, cock fighting kakis, mountain climbing kakis, real bird watching kakis, movie watching kakis, "bird" (girls) watching & disturbing kakis, dancing kakis, shooting kakis, archery kakis, hapkido kakis, taijiquan kakis, etc.)
• Colleagues
• Neighbours
• Schoolmates (classmates, course mates, kindergarden mates, etc.)
• Associates
  
• Penpals
• Internet Pals
• Online friends (ICQ, MSN, Yahoo Chat, Mirc, Friendster, etc.)
• Dates, Partners, Companions, etc.
  

they all mean a lot to me because they are part of my life :)

Friends are very important to me. Can't live even one second without friend.

And even "ex" or "former" or "past" friends .... memories of them still touch my heart :)

And here's a nice little quote on friends:

"A GOOD FRIEND is like a GOOD BRA, hard to find, very comfortable and supportive, holds U up when you’re down & always close to the heart."
- Anonymous

Haha ... I am a man, but of course I could not help but agree with the above piece of wisdom hehe .... ROTFLMAO with MsLUITA .... hahaha :)